Turmoil brings heartache
Even in the best of times we must face challenges. And, when things get really bad, we must make decisions; what to keep, what to give up, what to run away from, who to buoy up. It is sometimes difficult to remember why we made certain decisions, but, if we trust in ourselves, we can rest in the knowledge that we did the best with what information we had at the time.
If we were trees and lost a branch or two in a storm, we would dress our wounds with sap, dig a little deeper into the earth and allow Earth to nourish us. If only our lives were so simple. How many times have we railed against the sky "Why is life so complicated?" I think it is because we make it complicated. If we had maintained the natural give and take between us and existence life would be simple. Instead we have the ability to alter our situation. This is different from the animals of Earth. They must take each moment as it is and deal with the moment's challenges. We think into the future where we see how one decision changes the circumstances before us. Then there are those who want to complicate things so that they have power and control over others. I have no time for them.
My time is too precious. Still, I am thrust into challenges not of my making. It is a difficult thing to admit you don't know how to deal with something. There are so many variables coiled within each parameter. It gets so confusing.
What would I do if I could do anything? Where would I want to do it? Who would I want to do it with? Gee, I just don't know. The older I get the more I just want to shut myself away and ignore the world outside. I have lost the last 22 years of my life to the ramifications of a car accident that was not my fault. Nothing can change that. I must move on EVERY DAY, even when I'd much rather crawl under my blankets and stay there. Think of what I could miss under my covers? What beautiful sunrise or sunset would I miss? What funny antic by my goat? What generosity of a friend? Spring is the time for new beginnings. I choose to keep moving forward despite the obstacles because the alternative is not living, but hiding.